Some feedback on my D20x5 Orphans post accused it of being “callous“, “reflective of a deep moral failure“, and “repugnant on every conceivable level”. This post is for those feedbackers. Enjoy some fancy lads and lasses who kind of deserve to die in a hole.
Makeup a clown would be embarrassed to be seen in.
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Ironically retro elements.
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Lots of tight black leather.
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Toplessness and many colours of body paint.
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Delicate chains and spikes.
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Artful messiness.
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Gratuitous sexualized displays.
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Flowing, billowing silks.
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Swatches of chainmail.
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Poofy white furs.
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Gauzy, sheer fabrics.
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Old stains of questionable substances.
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Impractically high heels.
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A personal brand of perfume.
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A tattered buff coat covered in pins and medallions.
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A scarf with razored tassels.
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Jangling chimes.
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Counterfeits of high-society wear.
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Calligraphic obscenities.
D20
This dandy’s attitude is...
1
Symptomatic of an inverted death drive. Suicidal self-destruction turned outwards upon the world and everyone else in it.
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Irrational self-interest, the aggrandizement of their ego above even their own long-term prospects.
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Utter, willful ignorance towards the troubles of anyone less fortunate than them.
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Paranoid aggression towards anything that poses even the slightest threat to them.
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Despairingly self-pitying.
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Self-righteous religiosity and prudishness.
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Jaded daredevilry, dogged pursuit of increasingly extreme stimulation.
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Quixotic emulation of martial legends.
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Broody, sour, and judgemental.
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Crudely amorous towards anyone who pays them a bit of positive attention.
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Intentionally cryptic and obscure. A wannabe poet.
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Joyous in the face of death, immensely bored in the face of anything else. Offended if no one else seems to be enjoying things when they are.
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Whiningly envious of others’ possessions, dangerously possessive of the stuff they’ve already got.
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Reframing events they take part in so that they always play the role of hero, and others are at best the supporting cast.
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Subdued and submissive. Not one used to thinking for themself.
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Serious, humourless, and businesslike about every interaction.
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Compulsively novelty-seeking.
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Of a zero-sum perfectionist. For them to improve, others must be crushed down.
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Neurotic obsession with courtesy, manners, and behaving according to one’s predetermined place in society.
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Moronic Machiavellianism.
D20
This dandy wields...
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A brace of pistols engraved with scenes of glorious, bloodless battles, and an antique powder horn with a tiny hole in it.
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A rapier and parrying dagger with knucklebows and guards shaped like lions rampant.
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A muzzle-loaded rifle. They’ve been only halfway drilled in its use.
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A collection of fine knives stolen from their family’s silver drawer.
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A notched damascene claymore passed down their family line for generations.
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A poorly maintained sabre their father wore on campaign.
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A boar spear stolen off the corpse of a poacher who’d been hunting on their family’s property.
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A shortbow that matches up to competitive regulations, and a quiver of arrows fletched with swan feathers.
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A wooden pole with nails run through the top bit. A steadfast companion from their slumming days.
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A needle of a dagger tipped with fast-acting poison. Their nursemaid taught them how to use it.
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A bec de corbin with a head modelled after their pet falcon’s.
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A cat o’ nine tails fitted with iron barbs.
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A combined flintlock-falchion.
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A mace with mechanical attachments that allow it to be extended into a flail.
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A bandolier of explosives and pyrotechnics.
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Exotic (and impractical in the hands of the untrained) weaponry bought off a travelling merchant.
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A spring-loaded pike that can be collapsed to a convenient length and then extended for combat.
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A cane sword with a canopic jar containing their grandmother’s mummified pineal gland for a hilt, capped with a cobra’s hooded head.
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A prosthetic metal hand they can extend claws from by flexing their forearm.
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Old wine bottles full of their own amateur alchemical concoctions.
D20
This dandy also carries...
1
A golden locket with three scarlet hairs inside. When plucked from the locket, a hair will transform into a skinless monster that dumbly obeys the dandy’s commands for 1d6 rounds before collapsing into a gory mound. Each hair plucked will transform into a stronger monster than the last.
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An ivory snuffbox packed with their drug of choice.
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A frayed velvet animal toy they’ve slept with since infancy.
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An alchemically-preserved nosegay for their sensitive sinuses.
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A sewing kit. Better suited for fashion than flesh, but could stitch a wound in a pinch.
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A case of quality cosmetics.
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An anthology of pulp novels.
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A pocket-sized triptych of tame pornography.
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A tin case of soaps and scented oils.
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A harp they haven’t practiced with since they were a child.
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A bejewelled pocket watch inlaid with their family crest.
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A master’s assortment of lockpicking tools they’ve been teaching themself how to use.
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A copied grimoire rife with inaccurate information.
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A duellist’s cape.
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Enough supplies to make passable forgeries of official documents.
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A jawless, yellowed skull.
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Some jars of paint and a rolled-up canvas.
18
A fountain pen engraved with their own name.
19
An abacus with faux-gold beads.
20
A flask of rare liquor they’re saving for a special occasion.
D20
This dandy’s family...
1
Recently disowned them.
2
Has bounty hunters seeking to retrieve them.
3
Lost their fortune in a speculative asset bubble.
4
Made their money as smugglers, and still know of every cove and cache spot on the coast.
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Traffick in slaves.
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Own a large olive plantation.
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Claim a long line of judges and lawyers.
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Are distantly descended from elves.
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Engage in substantive charity.
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Covertly seek to kill each other for their inheritance.
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Are owed favours by many other prominent families.
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Have a portal to another world somewhere on their estate.
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All have a demonic parasite-twin attached somewhere on their body.
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Are being hunted down one by one.
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Are servants of an alien power.
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Are patrons of history and archaeology.
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Are trying to splice magical talent into their blood.
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Are a cadet branch of the royal line.
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Preserve their elders as a giant, many-limbed undead hybrid
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Once served as the honour guard of an infamous wizard.
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