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I feel like I'm going to be using the "disasters" tag a lot more lately.
I have a long list of baking projects I wanted to tackle this holiday and at the top were Eggnog Cheesecake Bars, found in this month's Martha Stewart Living (
recipe here). The past has proven I'm pretty good with cheesecake, so I wasn't too nervous about this and as such, skimmed the ingredient list and went for it.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5q-lMG8GPXjf8Shh4dpdgzzCGEVxm8Pnr9Hvy4jgDPQ4N2uCFw0th5hoASLU0TscgNXzuQdUWY-AjTAAR_oE45FFqtfA27PhBG1g6aaAT7hGFeWP2zTWeJIzMw2_k6DQIJ-GIMuCD2sB/s400/DSC_0006.JPG)
Right off the bat, I knew I wanted to use cinnamon Teddy Grahams to make the crust. Teddy Grahams have never failed me before, so why mess with something if it's broken? I crushed the grahams and looked at the directions and realized the first potential disaster: I didn't have a 9 inch pan. I only had a 13 by 9, so I thought, "Okay, no big, I'll just make more crust."
I don't know if that worked out very well, but I melted butter, mixed butter and sugar with the crumbs and poured the crust into the Pam-sprayed pan.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEo_UibogWayWtgGqDW5Yd_r7VzOGw9Aj1iu1UKQJCvHBhR7EmXEJBGKCCUuQ-7HmRGWTD1JhX7dd5FuzlI2JpQe5za0l_qgAqT6z98Fn7yWoQ7355mPDjQ8-TBCbaRHI6eJiBy1iLIrzu/s400/DSC_0009.JPG)
The recipe called for an egg yolk, which demanded I use a skill I haven't needed yet: separating the whites from the yolk. I had no idea how to do this (seriously!), so I cracked an egg over a bowl, tossed the yolk back and forth while pouring the white down and then reserved the yolk:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiByXzuTprxKdKM0qRs7ixXSL1VW4T4CrSCOo1ibw8uZzpP1GxmTD89vmnrJSP948ee_3rQjJBm3c9fZLg0VCru-C4WK5ULoxA0eArdEDDJVqfFPdWsDuTuw4Z90TnExFBpYVRbApRP7QEH/s400/DSC_0010.JPG)
P.S. Yolk is gross.
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I beat cream cheese until it was fluffy. This is where I tell you I don't think that went very well. I don't think it got quite "fluffy" and I also don't think I used enough cream cheese.
Then I added the other ingredients: 2 eggs, 1 egg yolk, sugar, flour, brandy, eggnog, salt and nutmeg.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjeXt0OeCmOIJlNWJjwoP-y69MCSd60yOWlKwYxchwpsVfHXwK1Dtkh-Syd0-2NeBbSGDBMn1lM00OB69tXWvn7ep-Sg6Tk6cLlJUd9y7iSfhxK4BGhVmYA6E53_aaSzM661GY-jUVyGp/s400/DSC_0013.JPG)
It came out...drippy...and clumpy...and scary.
THIS IS WHERE THE HORROR BEGINS. I go back to the directions and see, to my terror, that I'm supposed to cook the cheesecake in a water bath by filling a roast pan with hot water. I DON'T HAVE A ROAST PAN. WHAT AM I TO DOOOOOO?
It might be relevant to mention it was after midnight at this point, leaving me whining, feeling helpless and general pouting to the extreme. Sean suggested I just stop what I was doing, put the batter in the fridge and tackle the problem the next day.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaVVg4wCtgdCpxpdJOabIN2n0IwlhX6IGBfFOKqYRvAcF_hkr60BibQH3K9E67RInmGMXdhrbSovxilMHb2EiUciZ7FhApraH5B78wwnws88iNcgQSnPRR89aXwNmvYsXLkvBOPd8IotLA/s400/DSC_0015.JPG)
So on the next day, I went to the Teeter and purchased one of those $2 aluminum roast pans and filled with hot water. Of course, I missed, and got some water in the batter, which had spread incredibly thinly over the crust.
As I watched, the crust absorbed a lot of the batter. NOT GOOD.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIAW5_01OGJPt9X23rPLbrUjFd2-C5KZcbEFr1KnJ-ahg7TGm_1ftoQIaruIJ282HcbT-SneJXgmaESamE8IYN7wsEqfxu3bGkPs_2ITnSxdLnOZZQ7ic_UKS8PXrCDel9NxKQnsTGetog/s400/DSC_0017.JPG)
I baked the cheesecake mess (look at the crust peeking through! LOOK AT IT!) for 45 minutes and pulled it out. It looked scary, I won't lie. But I trudged forward, like a foolish general.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ApcEHC7PQnMD_-nVPx-VHhsd8SFCX7gPxqlC2dZUPziYfrOALKY1vS5ycbhA0yNi8yw6P3NOVHD1Q8eBIzCM8moYQGB1uBnTz7ZELrFBUxfLHMhrCURVGERVgeqyGrhWgOAdVreviFRB/s400/DSC_0019.JPG)
I put the cheesecake in the fridge for almost three hours (should have been longer) and when I couldn't wait any longer because my guests were going to arrive any minute, I sprinkled some nutmeg on top and cut the cake into bars.
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The final result. What do I think? Well:
- My crust was mushy beyond belief. I figure either a) I did a bad job baking it, crushing it, etc. or b) It absorbed too much of the batter.
- The eggnog taste is really good. The consistency wasn't too bad either.
Anyone have any suggestions about how I could have avoided the mushy mess? Also, do we want to take bets over whether I'll ever learn to read the instructions in advance?
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